My husband and I attempted to watch The Walking Dead the other evening. The show had come highly recommended by my sister and several friends. As zombies attacked a middle-class neighborhood on screen, I glanced over to my right and noticed my husband snoozing on the couch mid apocalyptic horror scene. Unwilling to brave the will-the-humans-make-it tension any longer, I flipped over to a rerun of The Office for a little comic relief.
While I haven’t made a second attempt to get interested in the zombie ridden TV series, it did get me thinking about end of the world scenarios – what would become of my home in a zombie attack situation?
Provided I’m not currently in fridge and pantry clean-out mode, I think my household would fare pretty well in case of a zombie takeover. And, much of this has to do with my medical background. My suspicion is that if you’re a nurse practitioner, you too could survive and thrive in a zombie apocalypse (the possibility of such an event is, after all, acknowledged by the CDC and should be taken seriously). Here’s why.
1. Our Medicine Cabinets are Actually Mini Pharmacies
Every good nurse practitioner has a surplus of medication samples on hand. From free handouts dolled out by pharm reps to an irrational supply of OTC meds that will cure what ails ya, the medicine cabinet of a healthcare provider looks more like a full fledged pharmacy. As nurse practitioners, we know that tossing expired meds is a ‘no, no’. You never know when you’ll want to bypass obtaining a prescription for that drug, even if it was inherited with your grandmother’s estate.
2. Physical Endurance
Not all of us nurse practitioners are marathon runners. We may not even be able to sprint a full circle around a high school track. But, we have the kind of physical endurance that truly matters in an emergency situation – we can hold our pee for a solid 12 hours or more. We can go without food for hours upon hours and stand on our feet without complaining for days. In case of zombie attack, our neighbors will surely be spotted as they forage for food or take a potty break, but our practice going without either will help us prevail.
3. We Can Hack Anything
Concerning but true, life as a nurse practitioner involves creativity at times. When clinic supplies are running low, children refuse to cooperate, or clinical presentations of illness and injury don’t lend themselves to the tools on hand, we use our talents to make things work. Whether we’re removing a foreign body from an ear or constructing a hide-out shelter, the ability to think on our feet will serve us well in the dreaded zombie apocalypse.
4. First Aid Know How
Sprains, strains, cuts, bumps, and bruises are inevitable in an emergency situation. Fortunately, for nurse practitioners treating such ailments is all in a days work. Not sure if that ankle’s broken? No need for an X-ray, we’ll simply apply the Ottawa ankle rules. And, if we can’t fix the problem, we’ve probably got more guts than others to just tough them out.
5. We Know What Really Constitutes an Emergency
The sight of a little blood doesn’t bother a nurse practitioner. Nor do minor illnesses and injuries. As NPs we can spot drama a mile away and distinguish true health emergencies from those that are run of the mill. These discretionary abilities will make us strong allies when the unexpected invasion occurs.
Which of your super-powered nurse practitioner skills will you use to survive the zombie apocalypse?