OMG. I can’t believe this is happening to me. I almost missed Cinco de Mayo. To clarify, I didn’t forget about the holiday, I thought May 5th was tomorrow. Yes, that’s right, I invited guests over to my home for taco soup and pineapple cilantro serrano margaritas on…May 6th (we have to eat at my house because “the Mexican restaurants will be too busy” I told them). Eesh, maybe I’m a candidate for a psych telemedicine consult. Well, if you’re working the night shift on what’s left of this Cinco de Mayo, here are a few ICD-10 codes you may want to commit to memory.
1. R46.1 Bizarre Personal Appearance
I have yet to see the average Mexican walking around wearing a blanket, sombrero, and shaking maracas on a trip to Cancun or Cabo. Yet, somehow that’s the outfit of choice among college students (or perhaps my dinner party guests on May 6th) at Cinco de Mayo celebrations. You may expect to diagnose this condition should you find yourself working the night shift this evening.
2. Z62.1 Parental Overprotection
Yes, that’s right, the refusal of parents to let their high school students out on a night such as this and instead requiring them to stay indoors studying for finals can result in a mental breakdown.
3. W2202XA Hurt Walking into a Lamppost
Next time you might want to summon Uber. Walking home after a night of downing tequila shots has its dangers. Not to worry. If the event repeats itself, there’s a code for “Hurt Walking into a Lamppost-Subsequent Encounter”.
4. Y93.D Activities Involved Arts and Handicrafts
Use caution when knitting your DIY Mexican inspired poncho. You never know what kind of bodily harm handicrafts can inflict.
5. F10.129 Drunkenness Without Dependence
What might have been if I had actually served my hot pepper infused tequila to dinner guests on the actual Cinco de Mayo…
6. W21.19XA Struck by bat, racquet or club, initial encounter
Piñatas gone wrong. Commonly associated with ICD code F10.129 mentioned previously.
7. W29.0xxA Contact with a Powered Kitchen Appliance, Initial Encounter
Tortilla-making may have been better left to the professionals rather than the device you purchased on Amazon.
8. Z63.1 Problems in Relationship with In-Laws
Family Cinco de Mayo fiestas aren’t for the faint of heart.
9. V91.07XD Burn Due to Water-Skis on Fire, Subsequent Visit
For when you follow up after your trip to the beach in Mexico goes wrong. Very wrong.
10. R14.3 Flatulence
Most likely diagnosis post-bean burrito consumption. Or, just a regular dinner.
Happy Cinco de Mayo! If you’re in Nashville, you are all welcome to join me at what will now be called a Seis de Mayo celebration. I make a killer taco soup.