10 Ways You Know You Work the Night Shift

As I was headed up to my office this afternoon, I opened the Notes app on my phone.  I had jotted a brief outline for this very post during my flight yesterday.  Ironically, I immediately realized some sort of mishap, most likely related to sleep deprivation, had occurred.  Not only were my notes for this post missing, but all of the other odds and ends I had jotted down over the past few months were gone as well.  Sigh.  Moments like these are clearly evidence of my erratic sleep schedule.

Working night shift can really test your sanity.  Here are a few ways you know you work the night shift.

1. Seriously?  I can’t get a pedicure at 4 o’clock in the morning?  You are annoyed that not all business are open 24 hours.  You are most motivated to run errands around 3 a.m.

2. You are practically narcoleptic.  You can fall asleep anytime, anywhere.

3. You never know what day it is.

4. You have no recollection of your spouse rolling out of bed, showering, getting ready for work or turning the lights on between the hours of 7 and 8 a.m. even though the whole process took place about five feet from your head.

5. An eye mask, blackout curtains and various sheets draped across your windows are essential for you to sleep.  So little light enters your home that your neighbors suspect you of ilicit activity.

6. You dread spring because it means lawnmower season is here.

7. You take enough Benadryl, NyQuil and Ambien on a regular basis to tranquilize a large animal.

8. Sweatpants are the only type of clothing you own.  You are unrecognizable to the general public in a pair of fitted jeans or with makeup on.

9. You feel guilty for being so incredibly lazy in the middle of the day but then realize you worked all night.

10. Forget breakfast- you want a burger at 7 a.m…and are so annoyed that no fast food place will serve you one at that hour.  No, McDonald’s may not make BigMacs in the morning…but they do serve ice cream.

While the night shift leaves me feeling a bit crazy, I wouldn’t give up the occasional overnight given the opportunity.  Night shift is simply more fun.

How do you know you work the night shift?